The Define Yourself Method

Identity and Relationship Transformation

Featured Programs

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Define Yourself!
Victims Page
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Trauma Program
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Bespoke 1:1

Learning

Check out the learning spaces for Victims, Practitioners and Muslim Specific issues. I explain terms used in criminal justice to take away the fear you might have. If you couple it with the Resource section, your journey to recovery should be less fearful.

Practitioners Page
Muslims Page

Meet Ruby

A woman wearing a white headwrap and a white, crocheted top, standing indoors with a curtain in the background.

My work has been shaped by decades of experience in family relationships and personal development. Experience in probation, youth offending, and domestic abuse have added expertise in these areas.

My professional life has been involved in examining how behaviour, relationships, upbringing, culture and social expectations influence people's lives.

I created the Define Yourself Method to bring these perspectives together in a structured process that puts the individual back at the centre of their own decisions. I never tell people what to do, who they should become.

I help them explore their lives, question and make informed choices for themselves.

Clients have described my program as being ‘an evolutionary journey of self-discovery’. One client said: ‘even my mum is sleeping more comfortably knowing I’m on this healing journey with you!’. I invite you to explore the Define Yourself Method, my signature program.

“Life is the letter C between B and D. B is Birth, D is Death and C is the Choice you make in between” (Jim Kwik).

What choice will you make?

  • "I learnt to separate culture from religion in my decision making processes." (Bespoke 1:1)

    A.N. 2020, London, UK

  • "The Bespoke 1:1 validated my feelings with evidence and fact. I learnt how patriarchy affected my life and how culture governed my thought processes."

    T.S. 2021, England

  • "I would recommend this unreservedly. The programme moves you forward, provides a plan and gives strategies to use. The delivery was great - I shared things I'd never shared."

    M.C. 2021 - Wales, UK

  • "I found the programme was a constructive way to revisit my past, it helped me review traumatic events in my life that I had regrets about - I had major breakthroughs. I really enjoyed the mind map, it helped me get in touch with my feelings and identify my emotions."

    N.W. 2021 - Florida, USA

  • "If I’d had all this information before, I wouldn’t have wasted 7 years of my life. I would have left him earlier and wouldn’t have suffered as much. If you know your rights, where to go and what to do it changes everything - there’s help out there."

    I.N. 2021 - London, England (completed both programs)

  • “Ruby, you need to write a book about what you taught me then take that book and tour the USA. Two sessions with you have been more useful for me than 7 years of counselling.”

    K.C. 2001, Florida USA

  • "I thought I’d overcome my issues but they all started coming out - With the domestic violence programme I learnt how to deal with abuse from my husband and family. With the trauma programme I learnt how to techniques to cope with my depression - I learnt how not to keep falling back into the same cycle."

    F.A. 2021 - South West England (completed both programs)

  • "You’re the bridge where East meets West. I feel I can explore and ask questions. I know I can simply be me."

    S.L 1983 - London, England